


Lost in the Shadows

by Settiai



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Community: percy_ficathon, Dark, Dubious Consent, F/M, HP: Epilogue Compliant, M/M, One Shot, Post-Canon, Pseudo-Incest, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-21
Updated: 2008-07-21
Packaged: 2017-10-03 02:50:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Settiai/pseuds/Settiai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy didn't even realize that his world was crumbling around him until it came crashing down on his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in the Shadows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [freckles42](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=freckles42).



> Originally written for the Percy Weasley Ficathon 2008.

_"Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler."_ \- Friedrich Nietzsche

*

Percy Weasley couldn't sleep.

Letting out a tired sigh, he stared at the patchwork of tiny cracks darting across his bedroom ceiling. He was exhausted, but he knew from past experience that nothing short of a sleeping draught would help him fall asleep - and he'd already used more of those over the past few months than was typically considered safe. Even though he needed the sleep, his insomnia wasn't quite bad enough for him to risk it.

Not yet, at least.

He sighed. It looked like it was going to be another early day at the Ministry.

Sitting up, he squinted at the clock on the other side of the room. All that he could see was a large blur, visible only because of a few moonbeams streaming through the window. He reached over and fumbled for his glasses on the small table he kept beside his bed. Clumsily putting them on, he looked at the clock again.

Three o'clock in the morning.

Percy stretched as he rolled out of bed, trying to ignore the way his eyes were stinging from lack of sleep. His head felt as if it was stuffed with cloth, and his thoughts were sluggish. He'd been through this enough times to know what to do, though, without having to think very hard about it.

Tripping slightly in the dimly lit room, he made his way to the door and slipped out. He stumbled to the kitchen, trying to ignore how the darkness and shadows made his already small flat look almost tiny. The kitchen lit up instantly as he stepped across the threshold thanks to the spell he'd put on it back when his insomnia had first started. Squinting, half-blinded by the bright light, Percy grabbed the small glass of dark potion that he'd made before going to bed and downed it.

The difference was instantaneous.

Even though he knew it was a false boost, its effects only lasting eight hours or so before fading away, Percy couldn't help but feel relieved at his sudden alertness. He hated the dull feeling that he got when he couldn't sleep, and the rejuvenating potion that he'd found got rid of it nicely. If he was honest with himself, he only had a few more weeks before he'd have to stop using it for awhile just like he had with the sleeping potions. But until then, it made all the difference in the world.

Percy walked over to the kettle and started some water to boil. Then, stretching again, he sat down at the table and grabbed the copy of _The Daily Prophet_ resting there. It was several days old, and he'd already read it from cover to cover three times; still, anything was better than sitting there doing nothing.

Just like every other time he'd looked at it, his eyes were instantly drawn to several pictures on the front page. Most of the former Death Eaters and others who had willingly worked for Voldemort during the war had either been killed in the Battle of Hogwarts or captured in its aftermath, but there were still a handful who had managed to escape in the chaos. _The Prophet_ had been posting their pictures a few at a time for the past few months at the request of the Aurors, in the hope that some of them might be found. Three or four had been captured when the photos had first started being published, but there hadn't been any others found in well over a month.

Personally, Percy thought the ones still on the loose were probably smart enough to use Polyjuice. Either that or they'd managed to flee the country. With most of the magical governments across the planet searching for them, though, the former seemed much more likely in his mind.

Especially considering that he knew a few of the persons in question.

He tried not to think of what working for the Ministry had been like after Voldemort's rise to power. For the first time in his life, he had done everything in his abilities not to be noticed. Those who were singled out tended to disappear, and the few that hadn't vanished in the middle of the night were among those whose pictures were being posted in every issue of _The Daily Prophet_. It wasn't exactly easy to forget what had happened when there was a daily reminder every time he looked at the paper.

"I need to keep my mind on the present," Percy muttered, absentmindedly reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. "There's no point in looking back."

He glanced over at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. Since the war had ended, it was common for people to be at the Ministry at all hours of the day. He knew for a fact that some of his colleagues worked all night, only spending a few of the actual daylight hours there. The latest rumor was that Minister Shacklebolt was actually sleeping in his office because he was tired of having to Apparate back and forth between the Ministry and his home in the middle of the night. Of course, Percy didn't believe a word of it.

Still, he knew better than to go in any earlier than half-past four when he hadn't left until midnight. He had no proof, but he suspected that his father had spies in the Ministry keeping an eye on him. The last time he had slipped back to work after only a few hours at home, Charlie and Ron had shown up at his desk mid-morning and all but man-handled him back to his flat with orders not to leave until he'd had some rest. They'd threatened to have the Minister himself come down to his office if he tried it again.

He would have risked it if he hadn't suspected they were completely serious.

With a quiet sigh, Percy stood up and made his way back over to the kettle. He still had a little time to kill before he could leave for the office.

*

Hemera Jones narrowed her eyes as Percy slipped past her in one of the hallways at the Ministry. "You're here early again."

Percy paused mid-step and gave a half-hearted shrug. "There's a lot to do," he replied, trying his best to keep his voice casual. "It's already been four months, and it's probably going to take twice that before everything gains even a semblance of normalcy again."

"What I meant," she said pointedly, "was that you were still here when I left last night. And you've obviously been here for some time this morning."

He opened his mouth to protest, promptly closing it when she held up a finger. Even though she looked nothing like Molly Weasley with her graying black hair and height that was even greater than his, there was something about the way she held herself that made him think of his mother every time she got irritated with him. Hemera had the ability to make him feel like a child again with just a single biting retort.

"Percy Ignatius Weasley, I've known you since you were a child," Hemera said firmly. "Don't even think about lying to me."

Percy didn't argue with her, but he was careful not to say anything damning either. He knew that she was probably well aware that he'd been there for a few hours already, but he didn't want to volunteer too much information. If he kept quiet, maybe she would assume that he had only been there one or two hours instead of almost four.

Hemera sighed, a disappointed look on her face. "Your family's worried about you. You do realize that, don't you?"

"And I'll tell you the same thing that I've been telling them," Percy said, forcing himself to smile. He'd learned a long time ago that a realistic one could be a very good defense. "I'm perfectly fine."

She shook her head. "You're falling apart," she replied, her voice sharp. "Everyone sees it but you."

Percy blinked, startled by her reaction.

Hemera turned and started down the corridor, heading in the opposite direction to that she'd been moving in when they'd met. She didn't say anything else, and she didn't look back at him as she disappeared around the corner.

A few seconds later, she reappeared - this time heading in the opposite direction. She completely ignored him as she brushed past, her navy robes swishing at her ankles.

Percy suddenly blinked and did a double-take. He would have sworn that her robes had been purple just a moment earlier. Except that was completely ridiculous; there was no possible way her robes could have changed color in two seconds. He had to be imagining things.

As Hemera disappeared around the corner once again, Percy sighed and reached up to rub his aching head. If he knew Hemera, she was heading straight to his father. The last thing he wanted at the moment was another confrontation with his family. He was still working on patching up his relationship with them, and he was trying to avoid any arguments with them until things went back to....

Fred's face flashed into his mind.

"Life's never going to be normal again," he said tiredly, leaning against the wall for a moment. He felt a wave of exhaustion rush through him, a sure sign that the potion he'd taken earlier was starting to wear off early.

Behind him, someone chuckled. There wasn't any amusement in the sound; it sounded thin and worn out. "You're only just figuring that out?"

Percy turned around, blinking in surprise at finding himself face-to-face with Kingsley Shacklebolt. The Minister gave him a tired smile, his gaze drifting down to the stack of parchment in Percy's hands. "Are those the files on that covert Muggle organization that we're supposed to be watching?"

Nodding dumbly, Percy handed them to him. The Minister gave him a weary grin as he took them. "Thank you, Mr. Weasley."

Percy tried not to gape as Minister Shacklebolt turned and hurried back in the direction he had come, acting as if it was completely normal for him to be walking around the Ministry of Magic in his striped pajamas. He couldn't even begin to imagine Cornelius Fudge or Rufus Scrimgeour wearing something like that, especially not in the Ministry itself.

Then he remembered that both of them had been dead for well over a year.

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and the dull throbbing above his eyes that had been bothering him for the past few hours intensified. Percy leaned back against the wall, his hand coming up to rub his head. It was going to be another long day.

*

Percy didn't even look up as a shadow fell over his desk. "Hello, Dad," he said, trying his best to sound busy, "Bill, Charlie, or Ron - whichever one of you it is."

"You were right the first time."

Forcing himself to smile even though his head was pounding, Percy reluctantly looked up. Arthur was standing in front of his desk, a worried look on his face.

"Hemera?" he asked sheepishly.

Arthur nodded. "Hemera."

"She's exaggerating," Percy said with a sigh. "Whatever she told you, it's not that bad."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Arthur said, smiling slightly. It didn't quite meet his eyes. "Mind if I have a seat?"

Percy reluctantly nodded at a nearby chair.

Arthur sat down. He didn't say anything for almost a full minute as he studied Percy's face. Percy barely resisted the urge to squirm.

"Your mother wants you to eat with us tonight," Arthur said finally. "The whole family will be there."

Percy forced himself to smile. "I'll be there."

Arthur smiled back, though it was obviously just as forced as Percy's. "Maybe you should get some sleep before you come," he said, his tone making it sound something between a suggestion and an order. "No one would say anything if you left for the day, not with everyone working such irregular hours."

The small smile that Percy had been forcing faded away. "I really don't think that would be a good idea."

"I think it would be an excellent one," Arthur said, his smile vanishing as well.

"I'm an adult now," Percy said tiredly, giving up any pretense of good humor. "It's not your job to take care of me anymore."

Arthur chuckled. "That job never goes away, no matter how old you get." He reached over and patted Percy's arm, the amused look on his face undermined somewhat by the seriousness in his eyes. "But if it makes you feel better, we could pretend that I'm a senior Ministry official speaking to a junior Ministry official."

Percy knew in that instant that he wasn't going to win the argument. He felt an irrational rush of anger that he wasn't being given a choice in the matter, and he tightened his grip on the arms of his chair. "In that case, I'd like to make a formal protest--"

"Damn it, Percy, will you please just go home and get some sleep?" Arthur snapped. "The last thing your mother needs tonight is for you to look like you're going to collapse. It's bad enough having one son looking like that every day."

Percy closed his mouth. He looked away for a moment, not certain what to say.

Arthur let out a tired sigh. "I'm sorry."

"George isn't any better?" Percy asked quietly, reluctantly looking back at his father. Arthur suddenly looked as if he'd aged a decade.

"It's going to take time," Arthur replied after a short hesitation. "For all of us."

_Fred's gaze was focused on Percy, his eyes unreadable. "Ministry-loving, family-disowning, power-hungry moron."_

Percy nodded. "I'll leave early," he said, looking away. "It wouldn't hurt me to get a few more hours of sleep before Apparating to the Burrow."

"'A few more hours' tends to imply that you actually got some sleep in the first place," Arthur said pointedly.

Percy blinked. "How did you--" He trailed off, realizing what he'd said.

Arthur smiled at him as he stood up; this time, it looked genuine. "I have... had seven children," he said, stumbling only slightly at his slip of the tongue. "I know what it looks like when someone is only awake and on their feet because of potions."

Percy couldn't help but smile sheepishly. He knew from past experience not to say anything, though, unless he wanted to dig himself even deeper into a hole.

"The Ministry can do without you for a day," Arthur continued, shooting Percy a pointed look.

Even though he knew it was pointless, Percy couldn't help but try to argue. He opened his mouth, ready to comment.

Arthur held up his hand, cutting Percy off before he could begin. "Don't forget," he said lightly, "your brothers aren't the only ones who know Kingsley Shacklebolt personally."

Percy bit back the reply that was on his tongue. Sometimes it was better just to cut your losses and hope for better luck another time.

*

Percy staggered slightly as he Apparated into his flat, momentarily off-balance as he tried to regain his bearings. He quickly glanced down to check that everything was where it belonged. The last thing he needed right then was to splinch himself.

He sighed as he put the stack of books and parchments that he'd brought back with him down on the kitchen table. As much as he hated to admit it, his dad had probably been right about him needing to get some sleep. The potion he'd taken earlier that morning was well on its way to wearing off, and he was exhausted.

Yawning, he stumbled towards his bedroom. For the first time in several days, he actually felt as if he might be able to sleep. Admittedly, that was because he wasn't far from passing out - but still, it was better than nothing.

Percy didn't even bother to undress as he dropped down onto his bed. His head was pounding, and his eyes felt like they were on fire. He didn't know how much sleep he'd had over the past few days, but his body was obviously telling him that it wasn't nearly enough. Pulling off his glasses, he let them drop onto his bedside table. His wand landed beside them a second later.

_Please don't let me dream._

He was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

*

_"You actually are joking, Perce.... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were--"_

_There was a sudden explosion, and the next thing Percy knew he was flat on his face. He groaned as he tried to sit up, his gaze moving wildly around him. Fred was laying nearby, not moving. Percy crawled over to him, his heart beating wildly in his chest. No, no, no. Fred's eyes were open, staring unblinkingly at him. Accusingly. No. He wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing. Nothing, nothing, nothing._

_Without warning, Fred blinked. His eyes were still glassy, his chest not moving... but he blinked. His mouth twisted from a light-hearted grin into a cruel smirk. "You killed me, Perce. I wasn't paying enough attention. If you hadn't been there, I would still be alive."_

"No!"

Percy jerked into a sitting position, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He glanced wildly around, trying to regain his bearings. It took him a moment to realize that he was in his bed, the room shrouded in shadows. There wasn't even a hint of sunlight coming in through the window.

He caught a hint of movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Who's there?" Quickly grabbing for his glasses, Percy shoved them on his face.

Charlie was standing at the foot of his bed, leaning casually against the wall. There was something about his posture that made Percy think he had only just moved into that position. "Are you still having nightmares?" he asked, frowning.

Percy gaped at him for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how to reply to that question. He finally decided to ignore it. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Dad sent me," Charlie said, gesturing toward the clock. "And you didn't answer my question."

"What?" Percy looked at the clock. Then he did a double-take and quickly rolled out of bed. "Damn it, I'm late."

Charlie snorted. "Which is why Dad sent me," he said patiently, as if he was speaking to a child. "Are you still having nightmares?"

Percy shot him an exasperated look. "What do you think?" he snapped.

"Hey, anything's possible," Charlie said with a shrug. Percy could tell that he was trying to keep his voice casual even though he was worried. "For all I know, you could have been dreaming that you were in the middle of a threesome with--"

Groaning, Percy help up his hand to cut him off. "Please don't finish that sentence," he said wearily. He still felt tired, but it wasn't the crushing exhaustion that it had been earlier in the day. "I really don't need to know about your sexual fantasies."

Charlie winked at him. "Your loss."

"I think I'll cope," Percy replied dryly.

He glanced down at his rumpled clothes, brushing furiously at the wrinkles. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his wand and mumbled a quick incantation under his breath. The wrinkles faded instantly.

Charlie let out a soft whistle as he walked over and threw his arm around Percy's shoulder. "You're going to have to teach me that one, little brother," he said, sounding impressed. "Even if Mum would probably consider it cheating."

Percy shrugged out of his grip. "Please don't call me that."

Even though he rolled his eyes, Charlie didn't throw back a retort. Percy was caught slightly off guard, but he didn't argue as he glanced at the clock again.

"Is everyone else already at the Burrow?" he asked.

Charlie started to nod, but he paused halfway through. "Almost," he conceded. "Harry was there earlier, but he had left to pick up Teddy at Andromeda's when I Apparated here. She's apparently having dinner with the Malfoys tonight, trying to build bridges and all that."

Percy looked away. He knew that he wasn't imagining the slight emphasis Charlie had put on the last bit of his sentence. "That's a good thing to do." Then he clapped his hands together, surprising himself almost as much as he did Charlie. "Well, I guess we'd better get going."

He took a calming breath, preparing himself to Disapparate, when he noticed that Charlie was just standing there eying him warily.

"Are you coming or not?" Percy snapped. He still felt slightly sluggish from just waking up, not to mention slightly irritated at himself for his reaction to Charlie's casual words.

Charlie shrugged and walked over to where he was standing. "Hey, I'm coming," he said, his gaze still focused on Percy. "I'm just not sure if you should be."

Sighing, Percy reached up to straighten his glasses. His hand drifted up to pat down his hair again; it felt as if it was standing straight up. He suspected that he probably looked like a fright. "Honestly, Charlie, I'm fine," he said with a tired sigh. "Do I have to keep repeating myself?"

"You can keep repeating yourself until you're blue in the face for all I care," Charlie replied with a shrug. He didn't even try to hide the worry in his voice. "None of us are going to believe it until you actually _are_ fine and not just saying it."

Charlie shook his head one last time before Disapparating with a crack. Percy forced himself to smile. The last thing he needed was to Apparate into the Burrow looking as if he'd just woken up and would rather be anywhere else.

Taking a deep breath, he Disapparated.

*

Percy picked at his food, half-listening to the various conversations going on around him at the table. Every now and then someone would try to draw him in with a question or a story, but for the most part they were leaving him to his own devices.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Molly looking at him worriedly. He quickly shot her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before letting his gaze drift around the table. His father and Bill were in what seemed to be a high-spirited debate with Ron involving Quidditch, while Charlie and Fleur were - for some odd reason - talking about gnomes. Molly and Hermione were quietly having a conversation that he couldn't hear at the far end of the table, while Harry and Ginny looked to be....

Percy quickly moved his gaze onward. He had a feeling he didn't want to know why his sister had such a big grin on her face - or where Harry's left hand was.

Then there was George. He was sitting quietly across from Percy, obviously listening to the conversations going on around him but not saying anything. Percy caught his eye, and the two of them stared at each other for a moment before George's gaze drifted over to the family clock.

Even though he knew better, Percy followed George's line of sight. The hand of the clock with Fred's name on it was faded and sunk into the clock's face, still pointed toward "mortal peril" as it had been the day he died.

After a few seconds, George looked back at him. Percy didn't have a clue what to say. The look on his brother's face was the exact same one that he saw in the mirror almost every day, but he didn't even know how to deal with it in himself.

"Muggles call it post-traumatic stress disorder."

If he hadn't been so focused, Percy never would have heard Hermione's whispered comment. As it was, though, her quiet words sent a shiver down his spine. He wasn't certain whether she was talking about him or George, but he half-suspected that she was referring to them both.

He kept staring at George, trying to ignore what he'd heard. It didn't look like his brother had heard anything, or maybe he just didn't have a clue what it meant, but Percy wasn't going to be the one to mention it.

Percy suddenly realized that the room had grown quiet.

Well aware that his entire family was watching the two of them, Percy pushed his chair away from the table. "I'm going to get some air."

"I should check up on the shop," George said hurriedly, standing up at the same time. "Verity was supposed to close up, but she might need some help."

"George," Molly said, quickly getting up as well.

Arthur followed suit. "Percy."

Shaking his head, Percy quickly turned and started out of the door. He heard the scraping sound of several more chairs being moved, but nobody said anything as he stepped outside. As the door shut behind him, he heard the cracking sound of someone Disapparating. After a few seconds, it was followed by two more.

Percy took a deep breath of fresh air and took a few steps away from the house. He hadn't even realized how suffocating it had been inside until he'd walked out. Shaking his head, he stopped walking and stood there. He knew that someone would follow him.

Arthur stepped outside a few seconds later, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw Percy still standing there. "I thought you might have Disapparated already too."

"I heard George leave," Percy said, not answering the unspoken question he heard in his father's voice. "Who followed him?"

"Charlie and Ron." Arthur gave him a weak smile. "Who else?"

Percy tried to smile, but all he managed was a half-hearted twitch of his lips. "I should get back to my flat."

Arthur sighed. "Percy," he said tiredly, "why don't you stay a little longer?"

"You're the one who told me to get some more sleep in the first place," Percy snapped. He flinched when Arthur's face fell. "Sorry. I guess it's fairly obvious that I need it."

Arthur reached over and rested his hand on Percy's arm. "You could stay here tonight," he suggested. "Maybe even for a few days? I'll talk to Kingsley and make sure someone can cover for you at the Ministry."

Percy wanted to argue. He wanted to tell his father that he was perfectly fine, that he didn't need him to pull strings and arrange for him to have a holiday. He wanted to be able to escape to work in a few hours where he could at least feel useful.

Except he knew that his dad wasn't really making a suggestion.

"Thanks, but I'll go back to my flat," Percy said, deflating slightly. He quickly continued when Arthur started to protest. "I think a few days off would be nice, though."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "No argument?" he asked. There was a hint of worry on his face. "Just how much sleep have you been getting lately?"

Percy looked away. "Not enough," he admittedly ruefully. He was careful not to actually answer the question.

For a few seconds, neither of them said anything. Then Arthur cleared his throat. "It would mean a lot to your mother if you came by again tomorrow night."

"I'll try to make it," Percy said, nodding. He closed his eyes for just a second, gathering his thoughts. He was just getting ready to Apparate when he heard a familiar cracking sound.

"What in the name of--"

Percy's eyes flew open when he heard his dad's startled cry. Two dark-robed figures had Apparated beside them, wands at the ready. He quickly fumbled for his wand, surprise making his movements slow.

"Grab one of them!"

As something sharp jabbed into his stomach, Percy felt a wave of pain shoot through his entire body. He cried out, his wand dropping out of his hand as his grip suddenly loosened. His legs started to collapse out from under him, and he thought that he could vaguely hear voices coming from far away.

Then the world went dark.

*

Percy groaned as he struggled to open his eyes. His head felt as if it were in a vice, and if he hadn't known better he would have thought that he had a hangover - like the ones he'd had when he had first separated from his family. Except he had promised himself that he'd never make that particular mistake again, and he'd kept that promise even after everything that had happened in the past year.

Nearby, someone laughed. The voice sounded achingly familiar, but there was a ringing in his ears that made it difficult to place.

"At least we grabbed the one who works for the Ministry."

Someone grabbed him by his hair, yanking his head up. Percy hissed in pain as his stomach protested, and his eyes shot open. He wasn't wearing his glasses, so the world around him was nothing but a dark blur. "Who's there?" he asked, his question breaking at the end as he went into a painful coughing fit.

Whoever had grabbed his hair suddenly let go.

Percy doubled over, realizing instantly that he was sitting in a chair. His hands were loosely tied behind him, and his ankles were bound as well. The shirt he had been wearing was gone, as were his shoes and socks. All he had on was his trousers. Blinking furiously, he tried to focus on the stabbing pain in his stomach. He vaguely remembered the ambush at the Burrow and a stinging sensation in that general area.

Narrowing his eyes, he focused his blurry vision on the general area from where the pain was coming. Even though he could barely see anything without his glasses, he could somewhat make out what looked like a white cloth taped to his skin. A few blobs of red were splashed on it; probably blood.

"Where am I?" Percy choked out, forcing himself to sit up straight again.

Someone laughed. He could tell it wasn't the same person as earlier. It sounded different, more masculine. The other had been female.

"You're not the one asking questions."

Someone leaned close, putting his face directly in front of Percy's. He didn't recognize the man, but that didn't mean anything.

The woman leaned in and slapped the man. "Selwyn!"

Percy blinked in surprise as the man - Selwyn? Where had he heard that name before? - moved away. The woman leaned in close, smiling as she got close enough for Percy to see her face.

He felt a wave of shock run through him. "Hemera?"

Hemera laughed. It wasn't the warm-hearted sound he was used to hearing; this was something completely different. It was cold and callous, sending cold shivers running down his spine.

"Close," she said, still smiling. "I'm surprised at you, Mr. Weasley. Or would you prefer Percy? It is Percy, is it not?"

Percy ignored her question. "Surprised?" he repeated, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. "Surprised at what?"

She leaned in even closer, her lips so close to his skin that they brushed the top of his ear. "You saw the real Hemera Jones this morning wearing purple," she said, her voice light. "And then you saw me. I saw your face, Percy Weasley. You noticed the difference in our robes, but you didn't say a word."

He stared blankly at her for a moment. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Without warning, she pulled away. Bringing her hand up, she slapped him across the face hard enough to send his head jerking to the side.

The front page of _The Daily Prophet_ popped into his head, and he suddenly understood. That's where he had heard the name Selwyn before. "You're a Death Eater?" he asked, surprised.

The fake Hemera threw her head back and laughed. "No, not a Death Eater," she said, her mouth twitching slightly. "I never got the chance."

"Then I don't understand," Percy said. "I recognize Selwyn - his name anyway, if not his face. But if you're not a Death Eater, then why would you be--"

"I fought on the side of the Dark Lord during the Battle of Hogwarts," she said, cutting him off. "The Ministry doesn't take that lightly, even if all of us were not Death Eaters in name."

She started to say more, but she was interrupted as a hiss of pain escaped her lips. Selwyn was at her side in an instant.

Percy coughed. "The Polyjuice's wearing off?"

Before he even knew what had happened, Selwyn was in front of him. Percy felt the man's fist collide with his face, and he let out a surprised cry as the chair he was in turned on its side and hit the ground.

"Selwyn!"

Her voice no longer sounded like Hemera's. It cracked somewhat in the middle, changing from that of a middle-aged woman to someone closer to his age.

Percy narrowed his eyes, trying to see as she reverted back to her true form. Though he couldn't see details, there was something vaguely familiar about her silhouette. "I know you," he said suddenly, not attempting to hide his surprise. "You were several years behind me at Hogwarts."

There was silence for a moment before the girl laughed. "Pick him up off the floor, Selwyn," she said lightly. "Let's get this started."

Percy grimaced as Selwyn grabbed the chair and yanked it upright, pulling him along with it. The stabbing pain in his stomach was even worse than before, and his head was still pounding.

The girl leaned in close so that he could see her face clearly. "So you remember my face?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. "What about my name?"

He shook his head.

She smiled coldly at him and nodded at Selwyn. Percy saw a rush of movement, and then there was an agonizing pain in his chest as the Death Eater's fist collided with his bare skin. He let out a cry as he curled in slightly on himself.

Selwyn snorted. "I thought Gryffindor were supposed to be brave."

"That doesn't mean we're impervious to pain," Percy gasped out, his breathing heavy.

The girl laughed. "He has a point," she said teasingly. Before Percy could react, she leaned in close to him again and gently pressed her lips against his. They tasted like death. "My name's Pansy."

Half-remembered conversations he'd heard his younger siblings having resounded in his head. "Parkinson. Your last name's Parkinson."

She laughed again. Percy shivered at the sound. "What do you want from me?" he asked. "I saw you in the Ministry. There's nothing I could tell you that you couldn't find out yourself."

Neither Pansy nor Selwyn replied.

"And you weren't looking specifically for me," Percy continued, vague memories from earlier popping back into his mind. "I heard you shout 'grab one of them' at the Burrow, so that means you didn't care who you managed to get your hands on."

Without warning, Selwyn stepped forward and punched him in the face again. Percy hissed in pain, his vision going dark for a second.

He heard the sound of a slap.

"We need him conscious!"

Percy struggled to get his eyes open again at Pansy's angry hiss. She was standing between him and Selwyn, glaring at the older man. After a few seconds, she looked back at Percy. Almost instantly, the cold smile on her face reappeared.

"We have a potion that we want test," Pansy said sweetly. He blinked at the incongruousness of it; it sounded as if she was merely inviting him to tea or something else equally blasé. "It was something that Professor Snape was working on for the Dark Lord when he was killed. It only seemed fair that we use it on someone who helped cause his fall."

"There are a lot of people out there who had a hand in the fall of You Know--" Percy paused. "In the fall of Lord Voldemort."

Pansy kept smiling. "But the Weasleys were at the heart of it."

Percy felt a bit of fear rush through him, and he had to struggle not to let it show on his face. There was something about the casual way she was talking that made him worried. He didn't have a clue what she was going to do next.

"And we paid the price." He didn't know what made him say it; the words were out of his mouth before he could even think about it.

Pansy's face darkened.

This time Percy expected the blow. He turned his head at the last second, lessening the impact somewhat with the sudden movement. Even though her strike didn't have the strength behind it that Selwyn's did, it still hurt quite a bit.

He hissed in pain. "Fine, then," he gasped out, "so that's why you ambushed my dad and me. That doesn't explain why you're waiting now."

"Oh, it's not a potion you drink," Pansy said, still smiling. Her hand slid down his chest to rest on the bandage he'd noticed on his abdomen. "It's something a little different."

She shoved hard against the wound. Waves of agony rushed through Percy's body, and he struggled not to scream as his vision dimmed.

*

Without warning, Percy found himself standing on the grounds at Hogwarts. He spun around, his gaze darting back and forth over the area. His hand flew up to his face, where he was surprised to find his glasses firmly in place. He was still shirtless and in bare feet, but the wound on his abdomen had disappeared.

Then he realized that wasn't all that was off.

"This isn't right," he said, his eyes narrowing as he really looked at the scenery.

The castle looked as it had when he was a student at Hogwarts, long before the battle had taken place. He'd been there only a few weeks earlier, and it still bore many of the scars left over from the war. He couldn't be at Hogwarts, not the real one at least. It was completely impossible.

There was a flash of movement, and Percy found himself staring into a pair of upside-down grey eyes. Their owner blinked in surprise before righting himself and dropping out of the tree that he'd been dangling in.

Percy suddenly found himself staring at a familiar face, one that he hadn't seen in years.

"Cedric Diggory?" Percy asked slowly. He felt his blood suddenly run cold. "That's impossible. You're dead. So does that mean--"

Cedric threw his head back and laughed. He looked the same as he had the last time Percy had seen him - seventeen and full of dreams, certain he could win the Triwizard Tournament if he just tried hard enough. "I thought you didn't believe in an afterlife," he said lightly.

"I don't," Percy shot back instantly. Then he paused, his brow furrowing. "Wait, how did you know what I do or don't believe?"

"Maybe you told me," Cedric said lightly.

Percy took a step back, eyeing him sharply. "I barely knew you," he said slowly. "You had breakfast with Oliver sometimes, but we hardly ever spoke at school."

Cedric didn't stop grinning. "But you thought I was handsome. Like Oliver."

"This isn't happening," Percy said slowly, taking a few steps back. He spun around, looking wildly for any sign of someone else. "Pansy! Is this some sort of trick?"

Cedric was suddenly in front of him again, his shoes and shirt missing as well. The trousers he was wearing were identical to Percy's.

"How do you know this isn't real?" he asked, his gaze meeting Percy's. "Maybe this is reality and everything else is just a dream."

Percy eyed him warily, making sure not to turn his back. "If that was the case, then I've been having a nightmare for the past three years."

"Maybe you have," Cedric replied. "How do you know that everything that's happened hasn't just been a dream? Maybe you fell asleep in the grass and just woke up."

Smiling, Cedric circled around him. Percy slowly spun around, still not trusting himself to turn his back on whoever, or whatever, was really there. "That's impossible."

"How do you know?" Cedric asked, pausing.

Percy didn't reply for a moment. "I'm not a teenager," he finally said, his hand drifting up to rub his face. He could feel a hint of stubble. "And I don't have enough of an imagination to dream up the last three years."

Cedric paused, a thoughtful look on his face. "You do have a point," he conceded.

There was a bright flash of light, causing Percy to screw his eyes shut for a moment. The pain in his head that he'd thought had disappeared came back with a vengeance for just a moment. He wavered slightly, certain that he was going to collapse then and there from the pure agony rushing through his system. Then it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

When he reopened his eyes, Cedric was still standing there. With his hair slightly longer, his muscles more pronounced, and a handful of stubble on his chin, he looked several years older than before. He apparently hadn't noticed Percy's moment of weakness.

"I'd be almost twenty-one now," Cedric said, leaning back against the tree he'd been hanging in earlier. "Do I look it?"

Percy stared at him. "What the hell is happening?" he asked slowly. "Where am I? Who are you? And what's happening to me?"

Cedric's smile faded. "I wish that I could just tell you," he said quietly, "but it's not that simple."

Before Percy could ask him what he meant, there was a flash of bright light. Percy automatically shut his eyes, trying to keep it out.

*

Percy suddenly found himself standing in the Hogwarts library. He spun around wildly, his eyes darting back and forth in confusion. "Cedric?"

"Shh!"

Jumping slightly, Percy jerked his head to his right. Cedric was leaning against one of the bookshelves, once again completely clothed even though Percy was still in nothing but his trousers. "Shh," he repeated, smirking. "Don't you know that you're supposed to be quiet in a library?"

Percy narrowed his eyes and took several steps forward, grabbing Cedric by his shirt and all but slamming him into the shelf he had been leaning against. "What's happening?"

"If you'd wait a second," Cedric said crossly, shoving Percy with enough force to make him let go of his shirt, "you'd see."

Nearby, someone giggled.

A vague sense of déjà vu crept down Percy's spine, and without thinking he started walking in the direction the sound was coming from. He turned around a stack of books... and froze.

Cedric walked up and casually threw an arm over his shoulder. "You know, I didn't know you that well, but I always thought you were something of a stick-in-the-mud," he said, sounding impressed. "Maybe I was wrong."

Percy didn't reply as he stared at the scene in front of him. He recognized the stacks around them now; it was in the very back of the library, as far away from Madam Pince's usual haunts as possible. A younger version of himself was sitting in a chair, his tie crooked and his hair ruffled. Penelope Clearwater sat in his lap, kissing him hungrily.

"So am I supposed to be Ebenezer Scrooge?" Percy asked guardedly, glancing over at Cedric. "Are you Marley? Or maybe the Ghost of Christmas Past?"

Cedric shook his head. "Does this feel like Dickens to you?"

The younger version of Percy looked up, his gaze drifting past Penelope. For just an instant, Percy had the oddest feeling that the other him was staring straight at them.

Shaking his head, he turned and started to walk away. "This is insane."

His stomach suddenly flared with pain. Percy started to double over, gasping...

... and then he was the one sitting in the chair with Penelope in his lap.

Percy blinked in surprise, completely disoriented for just a moment. He looked past Penelope, trying to see if Cedric was still there.

He was.

Penelope suddenly leaned in and kissed him. Percy jerked in surprise, shifting uncomfortably when he felt her tongue dart into his mouth. They'd broken up so long ago, he'd almost forgotten what she was like.

Percy groaned as Penelope shifted on his lap, her movement rubbing his groin through his trousers. She pulled her mouth away from his lips, laughing softly before kissing his neck. One of her hands lightly rested against his bare chest, moving over it in a spiral motion. Her touch was so soft that he could barely feel it, but at the same time it felt like fire against his skin.

_"God, what the bloody hell have they done to him?"_

For just a moment, Percy would have sworn that he'd heard Charlie's voice. He pulled away, catching Cedric's eye. "Did you hear that?"

Penelope giggled, leaning in close to his ear. "Hear what?" she whispered.

Cedric just shook his head, not saying a word.

Percy closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts. He felt Penelope shift in his lap, and then she was kissing him again. Her hand shifted down, sliding lower and lower down his chest. It felt rougher than he had remembered, more like that of an athlete than the bookworm he remembered Penelope being.

His eyes flew open. It wasn't Penelope sitting in his lap; it was Ginny, her hair flying wildly around her face and her shirt slightly undone.

Percy let out an inarticulate cry as he shoved her away from him, sending her crashing to the ground. She shot him a petulant look, one that he'd seen a million times growing up. "What was that for?" she asked. Even though she looked like the seventeen-year-old he was used to seeing, her voice sounded younger - more like it had when she had first started at Hogwarts. Maybe even before then. "Don't you like me anymore, Percy?"

He clambered to his feet, shooting a horrified look at Cedric.

"Don't look at me," Cedric said, quickly holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. "It's your mind."

Percy started to argue, but then he froze. "This is all in my head?" he repeated slowly. He turned his head back around, looking for Ginny. She had disappeared.

Cedric winked at Percy as he turned back around. "Maybe," he said, "but if it is then I'm not the one who told you."

"Are you saying that subconsciously I want to make out with my baby sister?" Percy asked slowly. "That's... I don't even know what that is, other than so far from the truth that it's not even funny."

Shaking his head, Cedric walked over so that he was staring Percy directly in the eyes. "It's your mind, not mine," he said gently. "If anything happens in here, then there has to be some reason for it."

He suddenly leaned in and kissed Percy. It was simple and chaste, barely more than a peck on the lips. But it was enough.

_"Perce? Percy, can you hear me?"_

Percy jerked away from Cedric, looking around furiously. He would have sworn that he'd heard Ron's voice.

"You still don't realize what you've got," Cedric said softly.

Frowning, Percy looked back at him. Before he could say anything, another wave of pain rushed through his body. He gasped, dropping to his knees.

There was another bright flash of light.

*

Fred's unseeing eyes stared up at him.

Percy let out a startled cry as he all but threw himself away from his brother's body. He lay on the ground beside him, gasping for a moment as he tried to quell the panic he could feel rushing through him.

Cedric stepped up beside him, looking down at him with a bittersweet smile on his face. "Need a lift?"

Without saying a word, Percy accepted the hand that was offered to him. He didn't even realize that he was shivering until he felt Cedric shrug out of his shirt and wrap it around his shoulders.

"This isn't how it happened," Percy said quietly, after a few seconds had passed. "The battle should be going on all around us."

Cedric patted his shoulder. "It's your mind, remember?" he said softly. "You're only focusing on what's important - and right now nothing's more important than your brother dying."

Percy felt numb. He'd thought the nightmares that he'd been having were bad, but this... this was ten times worse. If he hadn't known any better, he would have sworn that he was really back at Hogwarts.

"It's not your fault."

Despite himself, Percy snorted. "If you'd seen what happened, you wouldn't say that," he replied tiredly. "I distracted him."

Cedric wrapped his arm reassuringly around him. "I've seen what happened."

Percy startled, and he started to turn toward Cedric. Before he could, though, Fred's body suddenly seemed to morph. With a surprised gasp, Percy took a step back.

It was him lying on the floor, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. Then the other him blinked, though his chest still didn't rise. Percy was suddenly reminded of the nightmare that he'd had, the one from which Charlie had seen him wake up.

"Would that have been better?" Cedric asked, raising an eyebrow as Percy looked in his direction. "Do you think your family would be better off if it was you who had died?"

"It would have been better for George," Percy shot back, not hesitating for even an instant.

_"Damn, I've never seen anything like this. Hey! Someone try to keep Dad out of here."_

Percy stumbled slightly as the pain in his head reappeared for just a moment. Cedric grabbed him, keeping him from falling on his ass. "That was Bill," he muttered, his breathing heavy. "Did you hear him?"

Cedric gave him a tired smile. "I hear a lot of things."

"Who are you?" Percy whispered, meeting Cedric's gaze head-on. "What's happening to me?"

Shaking his head, Cedric leaned in and rested his forehead against Percy's. "I can't tell you," he replied quietly. "Not yet."

Percy started to ask another question, but then the pain reappeared. Crying out, he would have fallen to the floor again if Cedric hadn't held onto him.

There was another flash of light.

*

Percy's eyes shot open, and he jerked up into a sitting position. He was in his old bedroom back in the Burrow, the one he'd lived in until he left Hogwarts. His blankets and sheets fell away from him as he looked wildly around.

Cedric was sitting on the windowsill, one of his legs drawn up under him as the other dangled off. "Nice room."

"Nice enough, I suppose," Percy said guardedly. He rolled out of bed, glancing down to see what he was wearing. He wasn't surprised to see that he was still bare-chested. "It's not where I live anymore."

"You never quite leave your childhood behind you," Cedric said, shaking his head as he jumped down out of the window.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Thank you for that pearl of wisdom," he muttered.

Cedric chuckled. "Just trying to help."

Rolling his eyes, Percy pushed past him to go and stare out the window. He froze when he saw the scene playing out in the yard below him. It was full of people. His entire family was there - all of them. He even thought he saw his uncles Gideon and Fabian down there, standing next to Fred and George.

"You could help by telling me what's going on," Percy said, reluctantly drawing his gaze away from the window. "What's the point of all this?"

Cedric shrugged as he walked over to where Percy was standing. "The potion that they gave you was flawed?" he suggested. "If Snape truly was loyal to the Order, then it would make sense that he wouldn't be helping Voldemort as much as he claimed."

Percy frowned. "That's a possibility."

"A good one," Cedric said, sounding slightly smug as he clapped Percy's shoulder. "You should be proud that you thought of it."

A puzzled look appeared on Percy's face. "But I didn't think of it," he protested. "You did."

Cedric sighed, a disappointed expression making its way to his face. He didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned in and gently kissed Percy again.

Percy didn't react for a moment. Then he leaned in, kissing back. Cedric's hand slid down from his shoulder, sliding down his chest until it caught on the hem of his trousers. Though he kept it on the outside of Percy's trousers, Cedric moved his hand down even further until it rested on his groin.

_"This isn't happening. Not again. Please, not again."_

At the sound of George's voice, Percy jerked away from Cedric. He was panting heavily, his breathing irregular, but he suddenly understood.

"You're not Cedric," he said, trying to calm his racing heart. "Not the real him, at any rate. All you are is a figment of my imagination. A memory. A stray thought."

"A dream?" Cedric suggested. He kissed Percy again, his grip on his crotch tightening as he slowly pulled his mouth away after only a few seconds. "Maybe a fantasy?"

Cedric pressed his lips against Percy's again. Mid-kiss, his shape suddenly transformed.

Percy jerked away when he found himself kissing Ron.

"It's your head, Percy," Ron said. His voice still sounded like Cedric even as his shape changed again, this time into Harry. "I'm only here because you need me to be here."

Percy suddenly felt a sharp pain above his eyes, and he reached up to rub it. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Why do I need you to be here?"

Harry's shape shifted into Ginny. She smiled, a secret in her eyes, before turning into Charlie. Then he faded into Bill. After that, George.

And then Fred.

"Stop it," Percy whispered, pulling away. "That's not an answer."

Fred smiled sadly at Percy. "It is if you thought about it."

Then he turned back into Cedric.

Cedric shook his head, his face serious. "Haven't you guessed yet, Percy?" he asked softly. "Don't you know who I am?"

Percy stared at him for a moment, trying to put everything together. The pain in his head was back, mixing in with the one in his stomach. He was having trouble thinking; his brain felt like it was made of fluff.

Then it clicked.

"You're me."

Cedric smiled. "Finally," he said, shaking his head. "I thought you'd never put everything together."

Percy gasped as the pain in his stomach erupted again. Gasping, he started to fall to his knees, and he would have if Cedric hadn't grabbed him by the arms at the last possible second.

"What's happening?" he gasped out.

If he didn't know any better, Percy would have said that Cedric looked scared. "You're not alone," he said softly.

A bright flash of light caught Percy off guard, and he quickly shut his eyes.

*

Percy shivered as he found himself standing outside Hogwarts again. Unlike the first time he had been there, though, this wasn't the school he remembered from his years as a student. This was the castle as it had looked the night of the final battle, when death had been everywhere.

"This didn't go exactly like I had planned."

Startled, Percy turned around and found himself face-to-face with... himself.

His double stared at him, his face expressionless. "Professor Snape was supposed to create a potion that would allow us to learn about the person we used it on."

"I don't know about you," Percy said slowly, "but I think that I learned quite a bit."

The other him grinned back, his eyes cold and dangerous. Then, without warning, his twin morphed into Pansy.

She smiled at him. "You knew it was me, didn't you?"

Percy nodded, but he didn't say anything.

Pansy sighed, suddenly looking younger than he'd expected. "We thought that Lord Voldemort was going to win," she said softly. "That's why we decided to fight alongside the Death Eaters. It was going to be our chance to earn a place among them." She paused, meeting Percy's gaze without blinking. "All it takes is one mistake to cost you everything."

For just an instant, Percy remembered the argument that he'd had with his father - the one that had started everything off. _"I know where my loyalties lie - with the Ministry."_

"I know what you mean," Percy replied quietly.

She stared at him, studying his face. Then she nodded. "I think you do."

Then, suddenly, she was gone.

For a moment, Percy stood there alone. A cold breeze blew past him, and he shivered as it hit his bare chest. He looked away for an instant, taking in how different Hogwarts looked from what he remembered.

When he looked back, Cedric stood in the place that Pansy had been. "Do you know why you needed me here now?"

"Yes." Percy slowly nodded. "I think that I finally figured it out."

Shaking his head, Cedric slowly started to smile.

There was one last flash of light, and the grounds of Hogwarts disappeared. In that instant before it faded from sight, though, Percy saw it as it had once been.

*

Percy jerked away with a gasp, coughing as he struggled to breathe. A pair of strong arms were wrapped firmly around him, holding him in place, and for several seconds he didn't even try to see who they belonged to.

"Percy?"

Startled, Percy turned his head enough that he could see behind him. George was staring at him, wide-eyed. If he wasn't mistaken, he thought he could see a hint of panic that was quickly fading. "What happened?" he asked weakly.

George just shook his head. "I thought we were going to lose you too."

Percy managed a weak smile. He didn't quite know what to say to that, so all he did was bring his hand up to gently squeeze George's.

After a moment's hesitation, George smiled back.

"Is he awake?"

Before he quite realized what was happening, Percy found himself surrounded. Ron and Bill were both kneeling beside him, relieved looks on their faces, and he could hear Charlie shouting for their dad to get in there somewhere behind him.

"Harry said to tell you that he wanted to be here," Ron said, grinning broadly. "But Kingsley wouldn't let him risk it."

Percy saw a hint of movement out of the corner of his eye, and he glanced to his right. Then he blinked in surprise when he saw Minister Shacklebolt personally helping several Aurors with Selwyn and Pansy. Pansy met his gaze for a moment before turning away.

"Does he not realize that he's the Minister now?" Percy asked quietly, trying to ignore the bit of him that couldn't help but notice just how young Pansy looked. "Isn't he supposed to leave the fieldwork for other people?"

Bill chuckled dryly. "You try being the one to tell him that."

Shaking his head, Ron looked away. "I wonder what's keeping Charlie."

"Let's go and find out," Bill said, grabbing Ron's arm and pulling him to his feet. Percy couldn't help but notice that he gave George a pointed look as they left.

Percy slowly pushed away from George, sitting up on his own. He swayed slightly as he tried to regain his equilibrium, but he already felt better than he had.

"We've lost too many people already," George said quietly. "Promise we're not going to lose you too?"

Percy managed a weak smile. "Only if you make the same promise."

George grinned. It was a ghost of his former smile, some of its luster still missing, but it was more than Percy had expected.

All he could do was smile back.


End file.
